Irreconcilable Differences
by TheGirlWhoRemembers
Summary: Mac and Jack's very different opinions on what constitutes a properly cooked steak threatens their friendship. Episode tag to 2.07, Duct Tape and Jack.


AN: Completely silly, as you can probably tell from the summary. It doesn't have much of a point. Surprisingly, this is also essentially free of spoilers for 2.07, Duct Tape + Jack, though you will enjoy it more if you've seen it.

Thoughts on 2.07, Duct Tape + Jack, at the end.

* * *

 **JACK'S FAVOURITE STEAK RESTAURANT**

 **LA**

* * *

'Okay, not that I'm complaining; it's nice to have a good meal cooked by somebody else that you don't even have to pay for, and I get that Mac owes you a steak and all…but why are we here instead of grilling on the deck?'

Bozer addressed Jack and gestured at the two of them, Riley, Cage and Mac, who were sitting in a booth at the restaurant, as Mac was treating them all to a steak dinner. Riley continued, nodding in agreement as she glanced from Bozer to Jack, brow furrowing a little.

'Yeah, we all know Mac knows his way around the kitchen. Not as well as Boze, but…'

She trailed off as Bozer preened, causing Riley to shake her head and sock him in the arm in a rather affectionate manner.

Jack, meanwhile, took on a very serious expression, and pointed at his partner. As he did, Cage raised an eyebrow slightly in a very knowing fashion, seeming to suddenly get the answer to Riley and Bozer's question.

'My boy here can do all sorts of amazing things.' That was punctuated by him wrapping an arm around Mac's shoulders, making the blonde smile. Jack then gestured at the steakhouse around them with his free hand. 'But cook a decent steak…that ain't one of 'em.'

Mac rolled his eyes, shaking his head in a wry, but also rather fond, affectionate way.

'I _can_ cook a decent steak, Jack. That was _one_ time, and it was a communication error, which I have apologized for several times…'

* * *

 **MACGYVER'S RESIDENCE**

 **LA**

* * *

 **SEVERAL YEARS AGO**

* * *

'Mac, brother, _what is this_?'

Jack gestured dramatically at the steak on his plate. Mac raised an eyebrow at his new partner.

'A steak, Jack.'

Jack looked at him as if he'd just declared that the moon was made of cheese and that tomorrow, they'd be flying there to blow the whole thing up.

'This is _not_ a steak, man!' Jack pointed to where he'd cut it in two. The steak was cooked to a perfect medium-rare, having been put on the grill at the perfect temperature for the perfect amount of time on each side, which had naturally been calculated based on its unique characteristics, according to Mac's empirically-derived steak-cooking algorithm. 'This…this is…' Jack flung his free hand in the air. 'This…this is the greatest sin against steak I ever seen, brother!' He gestured at the steak again. 'You…you might as well have nuked it!'

In Jack's opinion, a perfect steak was so blue it was practically mooing. Cooked _just_ enough to get a nice sear, a nice char on it for the flavour, but otherwise left as it was. As nature intended.

In short, Jack liked his steaks on the really rare side.

Clearly, Mac did not agree with that.

Mac held up his hands, a little taken aback by the strength, the force, of Jack's reaction.

'I'm sorry, Jack, I should have checked how you like it.' He raised his hands a little more, already mentally adjusting his steak algorithm for next time. 'I'm afraid I can't un-denature proteins, but I'll cook it right next time; how rare do you like it?'

Jack huffed a little (because today's steak was ruined; next time didn't fix _that_ ) and pulled out his phone, deciding that a visual aid was in order.

Mac, he swore, turned a little green at the pictures of very, very rare steaks on Jack's phone.

'Jack…that's _raw_ meat _._ '

Jack leaned back a little, as if he were almost afraid that Mac would contaminate him.

'Mac, brother, I love you…but I think this might be the end for us.'

* * *

 **JACK'S FAVOURITE STEAK RESTAURANT**

 **LA**

* * *

 **THE PRESENT**

* * *

'…And so, we came to a gentleman's agreement, to save our friendship. We compromised. Kinda.'

Mac gave a wry little smirk-smile, shaking his head.

'Neither of us ever cooks steak for the other. If one of us owes the other a steak dinner, we pay the professionals to do the cooking for us.'

Jack pointed at Mac with his beer.

'I don't trust this heathen to not overcook mine.' He gestured to Cage. 'Subconscious bias, you know.'

Cage nodded slowly, an eyebrow slightly quirked in amusement with a tinge of scepticism.

(It was certainly a unique application of the concept, to say the least…)

Mac, in response to Bozer and Riley's looks, just gave a slightly helpless little shrug, coupled with a fond smile and head-shake.

At that moment, a couple of waitresses, plates in hand, walked up to their table. One of them set a plate down in front of Mac.

'Medium-rare for you, sir…' She set the other plate in her arms down in front of Jack, as Jack shot his partner a _look_ , an _I-tried-to-save-you-but-you-wouldn't-change_ look. '…And practically mooing for you, sir.'

It was pretty clear from her voice, her tone, whose side she was on.

Mac simply gave a little smirk, raising an eyebrow at Jack as if to say _I told you so._

Jack huffed and stole three of Mac's fries in retaliation, leading to Mac making a noise of disbelief and rolling his eyes, pointing at Jack with his thumb as he looked at Bozer, Riley and Cage, as if to say, _can you believe the nerve of this guy?_

Bozer and Riley started chuckling and Cage gave an amused smile, as Jack took advantage of the opportunity to steal another one of Mac's fries.

' _Jack_!'

* * *

AN: Yes, this was written entirely because the whole notion of Mac not being able to cook is completely and utterly nonsensical. Trust me, I'm (almost – I will be in about a week) a qualified chemist – if you can do a chemistry practical (which Mac has to be able to do), you can cook. Maybe not Bozer-level, but you can definitely handle a steak! Thus, this was born and is now officially my headcanon. I reject your reality, real _MacGyver_ writers, and replace it with my own! (Well, sort-of – I maintain this _could_ be the entire story behind that little exchange!)

Thoughts on 2.07, Duct Tape + Jack: Hands down my favourite episode of this season so far! Now that's what I'm talking about – this episode, I feel, really nailed all those little things that made me fall in love with this show - those beautiful, familial relationships between Mac, Jack, Bozer and Riley! I think the dynamic between everyone and the roles they played (Cage, Matty and Lil/Jill included) in this ep felt much more natural, and much more what they _should_ be, something that I think they've struggled a little with this season. I also feel this ep demonstrated what I've thought was true all along – they can still have Cage there, she can still be important and play a role and help save the day using her unique skill-set, but she doesn't have to be what she's been for the other 6 episodes this season. She doesn't have to be always there with Mac and Jack – I actually really liked her working with Riley; efficiently badass women with complementary skill-sets works really well in my opinion (and when the two of them are working together, it gives both of them more 'time to shine', rather than playing second fiddle to Mac and Jack all the time, I think), and it makes more sense, on a mission like this, to send her out with Riley instead of Bozer, and it gives them more story-telling possibilities. Hope they stick with this track!

Little things I loved – the return of Jack's puns and the creative title! (I am also proud of myself for doing a similar-ish thing in _Every End is a Beginning –_ I know I shouldn't be, since it's so obvious…but let this little baby chemist have this, please?)


End file.
